I think some people don’t understand just what a life in the day of a heroin addict looks like, so even though I’m some years removed from it, let me try and give a breakdown of this personal hell.
10am – I wake up, I feel too much. My body is already starting to slowly ache, my stomach just ever so slightly upset. I muster up the willpower to get a cup of coffee and a cigarette, and check to see if Michael from the night before left morning Michael any heroin scraps; most often that is a no. I’ll just inject from the dirty cotton filter to give myself the illusion that I’m getting high.
11am – I’m starting to get that cold, clammy sweat, I’m already texting my dealer, hoping that he’s awake. I don’t have any money yet but I need to make sure that he’s around and responding to my messages. I need to have him on standby.
11:45am – My dealer responds, and a wave of temporary relief comes over me. For just a moment I don’t feel any dope-sickness. His response gives me the boost I need. I now have the motivation to find money, steal something, scam someone; I’ve got to make it happen.
12:15pm – By now I’ve gotten into action, I’m in the Walmart parking lot, combing through the trash, looking for receipts. I need to find receipts of items that were paid for in cash, smaller items preferably. I gather up $100 or so dollars worth of receipts and head inside with my new shopping list.
1:30pm – I leave Walmart, with my pockets and waistband full of stolen merchandise. I get into my car and make sure that the receipts match up to the items that I’ve taken. Now I set out to a different Walmart to return some of the items and get cash back. Not everything all at once, I don’t want to look too obvious. I’ll run to a couple of Walmarts to spread the returns out.
2:45pm – Success. I have money. I text my dealer and wait with anticipation while smoking cigarettes.
3:30pm – My dealer responds after what seemed like an eternity. Having money and not being able to get drugs in that very moment is a terrible feeling. He gives me the spot to meet at and tells me he’ll be there in 15 minutes.
3:45pm – I wait. I text my dealer that I’m there. He doesn’t respond.
4:05pm – My dealer text’s that he’s about to pull up.
4:25pm – My dealer pulls up, rushing me to hurry it up.
4:30pm – I’m able to get high, finally I can feel normal again.
5pm – I come home, normal, ready for dinner. My family asks what I’ve done all day. I tell them I was out looking for work, no luck still. I lie about some applications that I put in, and some prospective opportunities. They don’t seem to fully believe me, but I don’t care.
6pm until 2am – I get high, I watch TV in the basement by myself. I text my old friends to see what they’re doing. They’re out drinking, partying, socializing; no thanks.
2:30am – I stare at the last remainder of my heroin, and debate if I should save some for tomorrow. No, I may as well do it all now. Tomorrow I’m going to get clean, I’m going to wake up and not need to use.